Through the shattered looking glass
by theoneandonlysushibean
Summary: Nessie has grown up in a short but happy six years.She is 16 and in love.One day she comes home to and what she finds changes the fate of everyone around her.With the return of the volturi immanent, and the imprint changing,how will the relationship fair?
1. Prelude

**Through the shattered looking glass.**

**Prelude:**

It all started with a drop of blood.

A single drop, so thick with implications that it lost all, if any, appeal to me. This was only the beginning. As my perfect fairytale world of myth and legend crumbled around me I stood back and watched it burn. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

Why love if loosing hurts so much? My mother once told me we loved so we'd know we weren't alone. I never truly understood this until I was alone. It also took me that long to realise the difference between true, unconditional love and accentuated physical lust. Maybe if I had the wisdom and insight I have now I could've prevented the tragedy that unmercifully haunts my unconscious mind. I would never know. But what I did know was that the people I loved were dead and it was entirely my fault.

**A/n: This story is from Nessie's POV. I own none of the recognisable characters. Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its affiliates. Just to let you know, as this is not technically a chapter it is extremely short and my chapters should be much longer.**

**Love from theoneandonlysushibean**

xx


	2. Chapter 1 A Perpetually Long Day

**Chapter 1**

**A perpetually long day.**

It had been a very long day already. I missed my family. They had been in South America for over three months. Apparently it was a quest they started when I was a baby, but abandoned when Alice brought back Nauhel. Now they decided to search for others like me, and Emmet and Jasper probably wanted to hunt some new strange animals. Last I heard Emmet was talking about anacondas. I really wished I was there with them, rather than stuck here having to play human.

The worst part was not being able to contact them if I had a bad day, or if I needed them. Of course I had phone calls and emails but only at certain times because they were in the jungle so often. It just wasn't the same as actually being with them, and seeing all the extraordinary things the letters portrayed to me. If it weren't for that stupid school I'd be with them now.

School seems completely pointless to me. I knew everything that was being taught before I was a human year old. My class mates were on the whole unable to have intellegant conversation. I'd tried a few times, but it only ended in ridicule and rumor. I gave up on socialising after my first week. Generally I avoided making contact with them, except for the dreaded day like this where we were issued "Projects". I was usually ignored by all my peers, and disregarded as "one of those Cullen freaks" so it had been a particularly hard day, because we had been assigned a group project in biology. No-one had given me a share of the work or invited me to the revision meetings, which meant I wouldn't even get a glimpse of the material that got me my grade. I wouldn't have to do any work; but the flipside was I'd get whatever grade their work earned.

While they were away, I was staying with Charlie. As I was posing as Mum and Dad's Niece it seemed appropriate for them to ask a relative to care for me. I, of course, had been to Charlie's house multiple times, but it was still strange living there. Once Charlie knew I'd be staying with him, he officially gave me mum's old room-he'd even redecorated it. Staying where she grew up, and going to her old school was an odd experience. Almost like I was following in her footsteps.

Like my mother before me, when staying with Charlie I would do the cooking. Even though I strongly disliked human food, both my parents insisted that I ate it while I stayed with Charlie. Which meant I ate one meal a day. And I had to cook it. I was so glad mum taught me to cook, because after the first night when I sampled charlie's cooking, I decided never to eat anything he cooked again.

As for hunting, I was permitted to hunt once ,every other week. Jacob accompanied my hunts, and regulated them. One night I decided not to eat, so I tried to sneak out the window once Charlie was asleep. I got out the window and into the woods across the road before I even heard a foot step. Jacob stepped out of the trees and chastised me like a child. From then on Jacob climbed into the room and stayed there with me.

At first Jake sat in the rocking chair in the corner. I was just so pleased to have him with me I didn't mind. After spending those nights with Jacob I was sure I was falling in love with him. I adored the romantics of it all, the vampires daughter secretly seeing the werewolf. And the act of him sneaking in was romantic in itself. After a couple weeks I noticed that Jacob was much less animated than usual, and he sat in the corner quietly.

"Jacob Black!" I scolded "you've been sitting up all night watching me sleep. Your going to make yourself ill."

So we decided that he could share the bed with me, and that way we'd both sleep.

I was thinking about last night when my car pulled up on the drive. Jacob told me he loved me for the first time. We came close to kissing, but Charlie came up to ruin the moment. We had our routine down to perfection. Whenever we heard Charlie get up out of the arm chair, Jake would jump over me and stand behind the door. Charlie only opened the door a crack, so Jake was perfectly hidden. I was just wondering if Jake would kiss me tonight when I noticed the faint heartbeat coming from the house. It was very weak and sounded somehow irregular.

That concerned me. I had spent the afternoon in La Push, and was coming home to make dinner. Charlie's car should be in the drive, and he should be inside. I wondered if he was working late. Would a thief be stupid enough to break into the chief of police's house. Or steal his car, because there was definitely somebody in the house. I decided to determine where Charlie was or should be, so I called the station.

"Hello, its Nessie. Is Charlie still there?" she asked one of the sergeants.

"Hey Nessie, Charlie left about half an hour ago, sorry." He replied

"Thanks anyway." She said hanging up.

It had to be Charlie in the house. It was a five minute drive and she would've seen him if his car had broken down on the way home.

There was a heart beat, but it was very weak, and the breathing was laboured. Really starting to panic, I opened the door. "Hello?" I called. It was then I saw it. The single drop of blood that confirmed my premonitions. "Charlie?!" I called out. I didn't want to see what could possibly be waiting for me, but I had to. I stepped into the living room, surveying the area. I saw the trail of blood. It led from the kitchen through to the living room. There was something on the floor by the sofa. Or some one.

"Charlie!" I screamed. His fragile body was crumpled on the floor, mutilated. Someone had done this to him, my Charlie. Who could want to hurt someone like this, it was worse than animalistic; it was demonic. I cradled him in my arms, trying so hard to block out the smell of his blood. It seeped out of the slashes in his chest, arms and legs and soaked into the carpet. The lack of hunting was making my bloodlust so much stronger than it had ever been before. Charlie was obviously in agony. I was pretty sure that he had broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. He was so cold, and his skin was as pale as mine. It was unnatural.

"Nessie?" He wheezed, the effort showing in his face as pink, blood tinged tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I'm here Charlie, I've got you. What happened? Who did this to you?" I begged, tears streaming down my face and soaking into his blood stained shirt.

"Danger," he coughed, splattering blood everywhere, "They're coming…Bella, Cullens,…run Nessie,…run." His eyes rolled back into his head, and I felt his body go limp.

"charlie?" i grabbed the phone "stay with me. Don't leave me. Don't die." I was sobbing my heart out. I had no Idea what to do. Other than a mandatory first aid course at school, I knew hardly anything about treating human wounds and injuries, So I did the only thing I could do, I called for help.

"I need an ambulance at chief swan's house." I wept into the phone, "there's blood everywhere, and I don't think he's breathing. I don't know what to do, please come quickly!" I begged. Charlie's hand wrapped around mine, and I dropped the phone to turn and look at him.

"I..I love you," he whispered, a trail of blood pouring out of his mouth, "Bella…tell her, i..love." he slumped back down.

"shhhh," I whispered trying to comfort him, "save your energy, I'm here. I won't leave you. Help's coming, just hold on." I begged him.


	3. Chapter 2 Time of Death

**Chapter two**

**Time of death.**

I spent all my energy urging Charlie to keep fighting. If he was one thing, Charlie was strong. Sirens sounded in the distance, but I knew they would be too late. With a final sickening thump, Charlie's heart gave out. Desperate, I tried poorly developed CPR, I had to save him, or at least help until the paramedics got here.

"hold on Charlie!" I commanded. As I pumped the blood through his dead heart, I wished so hard that I had venom. If I were as strong as my family I would have been able to save him. I was a weak half human and it had cost my grandfather his life. Even when the paramedics arrived I refused to leave his side. I promised I would stay with Charlie, and I would keep that promise. We were rushed into the hospital. In my heart I knew there was nothing they could do for him, but I prayed he could be fixed. The flat line on the monitors told me what I already knew. There was no heart beat.

I was like a zombie, stood there staring. I heard the words that made it final. "time of death, 16:27.". The doctor tried to comfort me, nurses came and left, offering sincere condolences. I sat at his side, looking for my Charlie within the lifeless corpse. I could have been there minutes or hours, before I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Jacob." I sobbed in recognition. He held me, and let me cry, my tears soaking into his shirt until there were no more tears to cry. Jacob stood and held my hand as Charlie was wheeled away.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that." He whispered, kissing my hair.

"How did you know to come here?" I asked.

"Alice." She must have seen Charlie die.

"Don't worry Nessie, they're coming home." He tried to reassure me, unsuccessfully.

It was then I figured out what the strangely familiar scent in Charlie's house was.

Vampire. I hadn't noticed it before because of all the blood.

Jacob was kind enough to pop round Charlie's to collect some of my stuff. It was beyond me how he got through the police tape and security, but I couldn't bear to go back there. Not only because I was heartbroken about what happened ther, but I was extremely thirstly, and the blood was too tempting.

It took a while for true realisation to hit. Charlie was dead. I walked aimlessly, knowing Jacob would pick me up when he was finished. I hadn't got too far when I heard the car turning a sharp bend behind me. Expecting Jake, I turned to greet him, my face falling when I realised the truth.

It was Lucie Clarke, the stuck up, wannabe cousin of Mum's friend Jessica Stanley who had pulled up without the rest of her sect. I say sect because they followed her mindlessly, sycophantic almost. It was strange that she'd approach me without them, but I supposed she couldn't pass up a chance to torment me.

"Hey Cullen!" she called. I kept walking, hoping to dissuade her from interrupting m further; I was not in the mood for her rubbish today. But I heard her get out of the car and run to catch up with me. I considered running, but I couldn't expose myself like that. Not even to save myself emotional pain.

"I heard about Chief Swan." That was enough to stop me in my tracks.

"Yeah what about him?" I asked choking up.

"That you found him alone, and called an ambulance. I'm so sorry." She replied. I was confused, Lucie generally wasn't capable of empathy.

"Thank you." I mumbled

"Oh, I'm not sorry for you." She iterated in her usual haughty manner, "did nobody tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I demanded, starting to get seriously annoyed.

"that if you hadn't been so seriously slow on your way home, you could have saved him."

I stood there staring daggers at her.

"My mum told me that Aunty heard from one of the nurses that if Charlie had arrived even 5 minutes earlier they could have saved him." She explained as if it were obvious.

"How dare you!" I yelled "I held him as he died! I tried to resuscitate him when he stopped breathing. I tried my best to save him. I tried." Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I reminisced on this afternoons traumatic events.

"Useless little Nessie." She laughed condescendingly "You can't fit in, you can't keep your family together; you can't even save someone you love."

"My family is fine." I shouted over the sound of another approaching car

"They don't want you. You're just an orphan. They're never coming back." she snarled at me.

I snapped into a crouch.

"Nessie!" Jake shouted, desperate not to make a scene

"Run!" I hissed at her

"what?" she laughed in my face. That was the last straw.

I wouldn't bite her; there was no way I wanted her vile blood in my system, it was probably toxic. Seeing Jake lunge towards me, I pushed her. By my standards it was a gentle shove, but it threw her flying back into the road. Even on the floor with Jacob restraining me, if felt the truck hit her.

Before I even comprehended what just happened, I was in the car, and he was driving as fast as possible in the opposite direction.

"oh god! What have I done?" I cried.

Although Lucie had aggravated me, she didn't deserve to die like that. The worst part was we would have to fabricate a story to explain how she died. Something like "Lucie saw Nessie was upset, so she pulled over to see if she was okay. Nessie ran across the road crying, and she tried to follow her but Lucie didn't see the truck, neither did the truck see Lucie because of the sharp bend." I hated that it would make her look good, but at least it should protect me.

Jake still wasn't speaking as he led me onto the beach. It had been a silent car journey back. I hadn't even tried to talk to Jake. I had no idea what he was thinking. He just saw me push somebody into the road, and watched them get hit by a truck.

We walked along the sand until we were far enough away that we wouldn't be overhead by tourists.

"Nessie, you know I love you right?" Jake asked, looking me in the eye.

I love you? I was expecting him to scream and shout at me, but the gentleness shocked me.

"Sure, I know. I love you too Jake." I replied.

"Then you'll understand that I have to keep you here. Until the Cullens return you may not leave my house unless you are accompanied by me."

"What?!" I half shouted. "I don't know what your talking about Jake!"

"Look, the police might be after you, and since I can't trust you to control yourself around humans I don't want the pack after you as well. I love you Nessie, but after today I can't trust you." Jacob answered seriously.

"You have no right to keep me here." I hissed at him

"Oh I have every right." He growled in return

"I refuse to become the prisoner of a dog." And with that I was off, running into the woods.


	4. Chapter 3 Hurting

Even in human form Jacob could run almost as fast as I could, so it wasn't long before I felt him behind me. I slowed down a bit after a while. My energy reserves were low; I was due to hunt today. We ran through the woods wordlessly, until we were too far away for humans to hear us. He grabbed my arms, holding them behind me in an attempt at restraint. It was then I quite literally saw red. How dare he have the audacity to restrain me? I felt the adrenaline running through my veins.

"Let go!" I hissed twisting and attempting to escape his prison like grasp.

"Why should I?" he growled "you evidently aren't controlling yourself."

"Don't make me hurt you Jacob Black." I sneered

He laughed. That added to my rage, but not nearly as much as what he said to me next.

"What you gonna do Nessie? Suck my blood?"

What came out of my mouth then was a mixture of a scream and a hiss.

Pulling out of his grip, I turned. I grabbed Jacob by the shirt and threw him backward, but instead of him stumbling back, he went flying away into a tree and hit it with a force strong enough to knock it down, with him still embedded into it.

I stopped, staring in horror at what I'd done. As a half vampire I was strong, but not that strong. With a loud growl, Jake phased, tearing the tree apart around him. I had never seen Jacob loose his temper like that, not once. He turned on me, his eyes dark and hard. He growled at me, bearing his teeth. I stepped back, unsure of what to do. There was no way I could outrun him and I wasn't strong enough to fight him off.

Jacob started to circle me, and I tried to match his movement.

"Jake?" I cried "please, you're scaring me!"

The adrenaline was wearing off. I started to feel sick to the stomach.

"Stop it Jacob!" I ordered, "or so help me god I WILL 'suck your blood'"

Seeing the look on his face I turned to run, but it was no good. I was too slow. With a ferocious growl, he pounced, taking me to the ground from behind. I felt the claws slicing against my back as he landed on top of me, and effectively pinning me to the ground; but in the process destroying my shirt. I screamed. He was growling, teeth still bared. The frustration and desperation brought me to tears.

"I'm sorry! Please don't kill me." I whispered.

I could almost hear the internal struggle between the man and the animal. Before either could win the hard sound of running paws broke my concentration. The big black wolf came to a halt growling a warning at Jake, whose eyes appraised me before he leaped backwards. The whole thing had happened in less than a minute.

Not bothering to hear an explanation or apology, I jumped up and ran. I heard growls, followed by heart wrenchingly saddening howling. Not caring about how bad Jake felt, I kept running without looking back. As I stumbled through into the garage at home there was a strange scent in the air. Before I could place the scent, I was distracted by the searing heat across my back and shoulders. Was I burning? Was this what it felt like to die? Everything was closing in around the edges. It was like a blanket of numbness wrapping around me and I welcomed it. I just felt so sleepy…

The next thing I comprehended was that I was moving - fast. I wasn't dead, so this must be pain? I had read about pain, but never really experienced it. And if this feeling was pain I never wanted to experience it again. The pain was extreme, and managed to override my senses. I found myself curling up in a fetal position. Is this how humans cope with pain?

It was as if the world around me floated away. I felt very dizzy and distant.

"shhhh!, Don't worry I've got you Nessie." He sighed soothingly.

"Carlisle!" Dad called, walking into the office. "I think she's loosing consciousness again."

I felt myself being passed from one pair of strong arms to another. Carlisle gently sat me on the edge of a bed, which I was sure wasn't there before. I couldn't support my own weight, so I slumped forward onto him.

"Sorry Nessie." He said before quickly removing my already torn shirt. The doctor in Carlisle quickly took over.

"Edward, these lacerations are pretty deep, I can see bone in places. She must have lost a lot of blood. I'm not quite sure how much; I haven't seen a half vampire injured before." He explained to Dad.

Blood. Was that strange scent my own blood?

"Nessie, can you tell me what happened?" Carlisle asked, as I was vaguely aware of someone passing him equipment.

"I, uh…Oh!" I exclaimed, sudden realisation shocking me. Jake had hurt me. I'd thrown him into a tree, and he hurt me. Waves of pain, shock and hurt rolled over me. My Jacob, my soul mate and protector had done this to me.

"Nessie?" Dad asked quietly. I must have been blocking him.

Lacking the energy and strength to explain, I put my hand to Carlisle's face, and let my argument with Jacob run through my head. The hisses must've come from dad, because Carlisle just nodded and returned to his medical kit.

"Broken ribs too." Carlisle mumbled, before looking up at me.

"Nessie, those cuts are quite deep, and even though evidence suggests you will heal quickly, I think you will need stitches." I eyed up the needle in his hand.

"will it hurt?" I queried

"I fear anaesthetic won't work well in your system, your metabolism would burn it off amost instantly. It will probably hurt." He explained sympathetically.

I nodded, which was all the consent he needed. I felt the needle hit my skin, but it coulsn't penetrate it. The metal squealed in protest as the needle bent.

"I was concerned that would happen" Carlisle muttered.

He and dad started talking about other ways to do the procedure when I was distracted by the sound of a car on the drive.

"I don't want to talk to him." I declared adamantly.

Dad cocked his eyebrow and gave me a questioning look.

"Well I have an Idea of how we could acquire a needle strong enough, but I'm not sure if Jake and Nessie will like it."

Carlisle grimaced, as he saw where this was going.

"Son." He warned, "I doubt Renesme will approve."

"Try me." I smiled, contemplating what this "idea" could be.

**A/N:**

**Sorry I haven't been updating regularly. This Story started off very differently, but I decided to start again from the beginning and completely re write it a while ago. **

**Pleeeeease review. I haven't had a single review so far and I'm starting to think no one is reading me anymore :(**

**Love from theoneandonlysushibean**


	5. Chapter 4 Vampire Stitches

Previously:

_Carlisle grimaced as he saw where this was going._

"_son," he warned, "I doubt Renesme will approve."_

"_Try me." I smiled._

Now Carlisle had temporarily stopped the bleeding, I was starting to feel a little better. Or better enough to be more aware of what was going on. Rosalie and Emmett were sat downstairs. I had been informed that everyone else had gone with mum to see Charlie's body, and to arrange for a funeral.

I heard the exact moment Jake's car stopped and when he jumped out only to be confronted by my Father.

**Jacob's POV**  
"Edward where is she?" Jacob begged "I have to see her!" My hands were shaking with worry and fraustration. I tried to move round Eddie, but he blocked my path again.

"Jacob I.." no. he's not going to let me see her. I had to persuade him otherwise

"You've got to let me explain!" If I could tell him what happened and apologise, maybe, just maybe I'd be allowed in.

"Look Jac…"

"No! you listen Edward!" I was sick and tired of him standing between me and Nessie. My imprint needed me. Who was he to stop me from seeing her? I heard him mumble something like "her father" but ignored him and continued on my rant.

"It was an accident. I have never lost control before I HAVE to see her! I need to explain. I won't let you stop me." Jacob shouted.

"Jacob." Edward said far more calmly expected from him after what had happened.

"She doesn't want to see you."

Somehow I couldn't get my mind around what he was saying to me. There was no sense or logic that I could find in his words.

"she doesn't want to see me?" heck, even I heard my voice break as I realised what was being said to me. My legs failed me, and then I was on my knees, fighting angry tears.

"Look Jacob," He said calmly, "Just because you can't see her, it doesn't mean you can help her." Edward was almost laughing at hatever it was. He of all people knew how rejected I felt, so he decided to mock me?

"What do you need?" I growled at him, my hands shaking this time from anger.

"You see Jacob, Nessie has some rather deep and frankly painful injuries. She needs multiple stitches to aid her recovery."

_Why are you stood here telling me this? Go and give her the stitches._

"Jacob, Nessie has vampire skin. You of all people should know the few things that can actually penetrate it."

_Oh._

The only thing strong enough to break vampire skin (other than other vampires) were werewolf teeth and claws.

I grimiced. Having claws extracted would hurt like hell.

"What are we waiting for? Lets do this thing." I muttered.

"Emmett, Rosalie!" Edward called. I slunk off into the bushes to phase and distinctly heard Emmett whispering "Rock paper scissors to decide who gets to pull the claws." I shuddered, adding it to the convulsions spreading over my body. I returned with my tail quite literally between my legs.

Before I could react, Edward and Emmett sprang at me, holding me down. There's nothing so dangerous as an angry vampire daddy. Especially when he has a b*tch who hates your guts to do his dirty work.

"Are you sure the pet insurance covers this?" blondie asked Edward, who shrugged.

She turned to me with an evil smile spread across her face. "Don't worry mongrel. This won't hurt a bit."

**Nessie's POV**

I literally jumped 3 feet when I heard the howl of pain Jacob unleashed. And them it was my turn to cry out when I landed again, creating new agony in my back. Dad, Emmett and Rosalie came in laughing. "I swear people heard that noise in Seattle!" Emmett's loud, boisterous laughter echoed through the house.

"Here Carlisle." Dad chuckled as he passed him five werewolf-claw needles.

"But seriously! The size of those claws was immense! They were about 4 inches long!" Emmett blundered on in awe "I bet they could do some serious damage…" He stopped when Rosalie hit him over the head.

"They've done enough damage today without you making things worse." She scolded.

There was an awkward silence before Daddy intervened.

"How you holding up baby?" he asked gently.

"It hurts." I answered simply.

"She has at least three broken ribs, these cuts run from her shoulders down to her waist, and are through to the bone in places. If she were human she wouldn't have survived this." Carlisle explained.

"I am going to kill that DOG!" Rosalie hissed.

"Not if I do first." Mumbled dad. "I think we should give Nessie some space. This is going to hurt." And with that it was just me and Carlisle in the room.

I looked up at my grandfather.

"I take it you are ready to begin." I grimaced. Carlisle just looked back at me with a stunning smile full of reassurance. It would be hard for anyone not to trust him with a smile like that.

"Lay down and just try to relax." He instructed.

That was the most painful 15 minutes of my entire existence so far. I spent the whole time screaming expletives. Under any other circumstance I would have been heavily chastised for using even one of those swears, but I guessed dad was taking mercy on my after what I'd been through today. After I had received the 87 metallically reinforced stitches (or so I was informed later) I actually started feeling better.

"Carlisle, I need to hunt. I'm thirsty." I explained trying to get up, but failing. No sooner had I laid back down, I was handed a steel bottle, similar to the ones they used to feed me as a newborn. I gladly took it, and inhaled the rich flavour; the scent was much too potent to be animal blood.

"Is this human?" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry, we didn't kill anyone. It was donated Nessie." Dad soothed from the doorway.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" I mumbled, trying to tear my attention from the burning in my throat and the tempting aroma coming from the cup.

"Trust me, it'll be fine. You need to build your strength back up." Carlisle told me, while packing up the rest of his medical kit.

I took a big sip, enjoying the flavour of what was usually 'forbidden fruit'. As I hadn't hunted for quite a long time and I was injured, it was going to take more than just 1 cup of blood to satisfy me. While I fed, everyone sat round and made small talk. I had just ended an argument between Emmett and Rosalie over why shopping was better exercise than sport when I was asked a question I was hoping to avoid.

"Why did you have that argument with Jacob?" typically, it came from Dad.

"he was trying to make me stay in his house until you got back." I answered truthfully enough.

"But why was he doing that?"

There was yet another awkward silence.

"Nessie, you're blocking me" Dad stated "I can see what happened on the beach and everything after that, but what caused Jacobs reaction?" I looked down and took a final draw from the straw when we all heard tires came screeching down the drive, coming to a halt just by the front door.

"What has that Mongrel done to my baby!" The screams echoed through the house.

Mum was home and she was not happy.

**A/N:**

**Okay, ouch! Poor Nessie!**

**But I have a Feeling Edward is not going to be happy when he finds out the truth.**

**Thank you to my first two reviewers, warriorheart91 and futurecullen26. Your positive feedback and encouragement made my day!!**

**Love from theoneandonlysushibean**

**xxx**


	6. Chapter 5 Changing Memories

Previously:

"_What has that mongrel done to my baby!" the screams echoed through the house._

_Mum was home, and she was not happy._

"Where is he? I am going to KILL him!" Mum screamed breaking down the front door. Everyone grimaced as they heard glass and china smashing and wood splintering. I guessed we were going to have to redecorate.

"Bella!" Alice screeched, "Calm down! She's going to be okay!".

I looked to Dad who was clearly quite worried.

"Isn't someone going to stop her?" I asked the room full of shocked, yet unmoving vampires.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Carlisle murmured

"Nessie love, the last time you mother was angry like this was the time Jacob took you cliff diving. Emmett and Jasper tried to… calm her down and it didn't go well." Dad explained

"Didn't go well!" Uncle Emmett roared, "I lost my bloody arm!"

"Carlisle reattached it though. And your still my big, strong man." Rosalie cooed.

I rolled my eyes. I hated how everybody in this house had someone they were totally in love with.

"Well if you big, bad vampires are too scared to do it, I will" I announced, attempting to jump up. I did, but I almost screamed because the pain was excruciating. A hiss echoed through the house. In less than a second Mum was stood in front of me.

"Nessie." She whispered. The room was silent.

Her face contorted as she started to smell the blood. For a second, I was very concerned because mum's eyes turned from their usual golden hue, to an empty black. The second she had control again, her eyes were slightly more golden, but still dark.

"Show me what happened." She asked, pleading with her eyes.

Taking a deep breath I stepped forward, placing my hand on her cheek. I started showing her the argument, but before I could finish, cold hands grabbed me from behind and pulled me away. Jasper, I soon realised pulled me behind him as mum lunged. She lifted Carlisle's desk with everything still on it and threw it through the tall windows above the hospital bed, shattering the glass over everyone in the room. "Jasper!" Daddy called. The Emotion of the day had gotten the better of her. Not only had her father been brutally murdered, but now she had come home to find her daughter has been attacked by someone she trusted to protect her.

I could understand that she might be upset, but this anger was something new. I'd never seen her like this. Well maybe once. waves of calm swept over the room, emanating from jasper. Mum did calm down, but instead of relaxing like it was intended, she slid to the floor and started silently sobbing. I could see her shoulders heaving up and down.

"Mummy?" I called softly

"I'm so sorry baby!" she whimpered. "After loosing Charlie, when I heard you were hurt I was so afraid I'd loose you too."

"I'm okay mum." I said looking down, "I'm so sorry about Charlie. I really tried hard…"

"I know you did sweetheart." Mum looked at me, her eyes tortured with grief and guilt. Dad stepped over and pulled her into an embrace, soothingly stoking her hair.

I looked down, unable to watch them any longer. If it had been anyone else in my family there with Charlie, they could have saved him. It was my fault. I was late home that afternoon, if I'd been back earlier he would have been protected. Or if I had venom I could've saved him. I'd never felt so alone as I did in that moment. Where could I possibly fit in? Not in the human world, nor the vampire world or even with the wolves, who put up with me, but I was sure deep inside they hated what I was. I was little Nessie Cullen, the weak half vampire who couldn't protect herself or her loved ones.

I looked up to see the shock and pain in both my father and uncle jasper's eyes. It was obvious that they'd heard, or felt the emotion of what I was thinking.

"Nessie…" Dad whispered, he looked distraught.

"Daddy, I need to be alone…to think." I announced

"wait a moment." Mum ran quickly from the room, returning in less than a minute with a book in her hands. "I like to read this when I'm thinking, or upset." She explained handing it to me. It was her original Wuthering Heights book. It was tattered and fragile where it's excessive use had worn it, but of course dad had insisted upon buying her a new copy. But this copy meant a lot to my mum, and it meant the world to me that she trusted me with it.

"Thank you Mum." I said, hugging her. Then I turned and ran.

I ran aimlessly for a while, then realised where I was going: my tree-house. The tree-house was my secret place. Jake and I built it together when I was three years old, but looked about eight. I was pretty sure my family didn't know about it; although my father probably knows of it from listening to my thoughts. We built it in the woods, about half a mile into the Quillette border. I used to use it to play 'house' or 'families', I even had tea parties that Jake would order Seth to attend. As I became more mature, we redecorated it so it would be a cool place to hang out. Now I mainly come here to think, and so does Jake.

I was hoping he would be here already, but he wasn't. So I sat down with some pillows and a blanket and began to read Wuthering heights. Having been reading for half an hour, I was surprised when a quote jumped of the page and captured my attention. It seemed that I couldn't even escape into the fantasy of fiction without be dragged back into reality and my concerns.

'_It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire._'

Strangely, I could understand this opinion. Jake was like my Heathcliff, his soul and mine were the same. But it hurt me so badly to see him suffer because of me and what I was. Truly, I was in love with him. I hadn't told Jake that yet. Should I tell him? Or would it be kinder to spear him the pain of my 'vampire' mistakes I made? Maybe I could find a 'Linton', someone who I could possibly love and be loved by. Any candidate would have to be vampire, which would make him and Jake literally as different as frost and fire. Giving Jake up would hurt so much. I would have to put more thought into this matter.

My musings were interrupted by the tree shaking. The door flung open and Jake walked in. From his bloodshot eyes, and tear stained cheeks, I could see he'd been crying.

"Nessie, I'm so sorry." He looked me in the eye, "Words can't describe how sorry I am or how much pain it caused me knowing that I'd hurt you. What can I do to even begin to deserve your forgiveness?" he begged, dropping to his knees.

"you hurt me." I whispered, a tear starting to fall down my cheek.

"Ness.." Jacob came toward me, I assumed to try and hug me.

"Please don't touch me." I whispered. Jake looked hurt by my request, but sullenly resigned himself to it. Instead, he stepped backward and slunk down against the wall until he was sitting with his head in his hands.

"please," jake begged, "show me what you remember." He held out his hand, so I could show him, but I didn't need it.

I had been working with my mum on projecting my talent. The most successful attempt had 4 people seeing my memories without making contact with them. I had also discovered that I could give other vampires my 'gift'. It was like my mother shield, but instead of protecting me from the gifts of those around me, it replaced their talents with my own. We were trying to expand my projection, when all of a sudden I could see the cottage, mum and dad were running up to the bedroom, they were kissing, and suddenly my father's shirt was torn off him. I didn't want to see the rest of it, so I imagined them sitting down and playing a completely non-sexual game of scrabble. To my surprise, the images I saw changed from my parents amorous embrace, to a placid game of scrabble. Dad beat mum easily, and although I could see she was frustrated, she giggled and asked fro a re-match. Then the vision stopped, and I felt slightly dizzy. Now dad was stood over by mum.

"What just happened?" he asked worried, "I could hear your thoughts. You were thinking about scrabble and then it was gone. But Nessie was too!"

"urrm, I think I gave her my gift." I mumbled, "I could see her memory when I was trying to project. When I stopped it was gone." I left out the part about altering it. After a while of experimenting, I could project to the whole family, and have all of them project on me. I finally knew how dad felt.

I shook my head at jakes outstretched hand. Although it hurt, I showed him how angry I was, then shocked when he hit the tree, and scared when I thought he would kill me. When it got to the suffering I endured with the wounds on my back, Jacob was crying again, and so was I. Unable to control it due to the crying, I stopped showing him.

After an incredibly awkward silence, I decided to put my plan into action. I couldn't let my dad find out about me pushing Leslie into the road. I had no way to know about the truck, but I would still be in a lot of trouble. He'd probably insist on us moving away just in case.

"Jacob?" I Asked. He didn't even look up at me. "I can't remember what caused our… argument. Can I try something?" Then he looked up, giving me a puzzled look. "Jake, I'm going to lend my gift to you. Please will you show me what happened?" I begged.

Honestly, Jacob looked amazed. I hadn't used my new found ability on him before, and he seemed fascinated about it.

"Are you sure it will work?" He asked me.

"Certain." I declared, "When I say so, start thinking about it."

Now I concentrated at pushing my gift away from me. To use my mother's description, it felt a lot like stretching an incredibly tight elastic band away from my mind.

"okay, go!" I whispered.

The memory started with him driving to find me. I started there. Instead of finding me

mid-argument, he found me crouched in the tree line hunting. Then he smelt the human blood. He panicked, and parked the Car, to run out and stop me from exposing myself. He saw the girl on the road Far a head of me, and it was obvious she had been hit by the truck. Grabbing me he pulled and dragged me back to the car. He could hear the truck driver talking on the phone. "I turned the corner ands she was just there…must've beencrossing the road…couldn't see her because of the turn…not enough time to brake…" Then we were driving back to La Push. I let the elastic band slip back into place. All I had to do was hope that what I tried to show him was what he remembered. I had only done it once before and I hadn't asked if my mum had remembered the scrabble or not.

Jake looked upset. "You were hunting that poor girl. It looked like she was hit by the truck and even I could smell the blood." He looked down, and I fought off a sigh of relief, it had worked! "Nessie, I'd never seen you slip up like that. You looked like…well a vampire. I was shocked and hurt by it. But that is no excuse for taking that argument so far. I would never intentionally hurt you because I…" He averted his gaze looking around the room, as if he was trying to figure out what to say. Was this what I was waiting for? Would this be when he told me he loved me? I finally saw a resolve come to his eyes.

"Nessie, you are my best friend. I can't bear to see you hurt like this." He explained. A little bit of my heart shattered inside. I thought he was going to say it, but I was wrong. Maybe he didn't have feelings for me after all. Jake had practically said it himself, he was repulsed by the vampire in me. The tears started spilling all over again. It was stupid, but I really was upset.

"I'm sorry Jake." I cried, leaping out of the tree house. I thought he would follow me, but Jacob just let me go.

**A/n:**

**Just another disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer, and I do not own twilight or any of the characters. I also do not own the quote from Nessie's book. That is from chapter nine of Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte so I don't own any of the characters mentioned in that either.**

**I'm getting a little lonely here readers. A review would really make my day!! I'll even provide you with a topic: What do you guys think about the development of Nessie's gift? Let me know, I really appreciate your opinions!! Thank you to all of my reviewers, especially Fancy Girl Haflinger, who has reviewed THREE times!!**

**Lots of love**

**From theoneandonlysushibean**

**xxx**


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